This Good Talk is actually about the lack of talking.

Want to know something surprising? You know what we at GK Training get hired for more and more these days? Helping people just be comfortable speaking – not only in a presentation, mind you, but in life! This has always been a client demand we get; social anxiety is not a new phenomenon afterall. But the uptick in this request has been notable. So, it begs the question why…

What I have come to is both encouraging and discouraging. 

Why discouraging? By the day, society and technology are conspiring to extinguish the multiple opportunities to speak we used to face each day.

• We go to buy a product: do we interact with a check-out person, or use a touchless kiosk?
• We climb into the back of an Uber, Lyft or cab: do we talk to the driver or dive into a screen?
• We go to a foreign city: do we ask friendly residents for directions, or do we use Google Maps to navigate?
• We are hungry somewhere away from home: do we ask a local stranger for a restaurant recommendation, or do we jump on Yelp, Google, or another review site?

I’m not the only one ringing this alarm bell.

And just wait till AI really ramps up…

All of these “interactions” that aren’t really interactions have deprived us of chances to speak. And I believe one of the factors that is driving the uptick in demand for basic coaching on speaking that I’m seeing is this dearth.

Kind of discouraging, no?

Here’s the encouraging part. There is an incredibly simple solution: talk to strangers! If speaking is a sport (which I believe it is – so much so that I practically become a broken record in my book encouraging people to treat themselves as communication athletes) it stands to reason that the more you practice the sport, the better you’ll get.

So, if you want to keep the ability to speak, you have to use it (or lose it)!

Since we at GK Training love using kinesthetic tools to help people improve their communication, there’s a drill for this! It’s called the Step-In drill, and if you want to learn it, watch GK Master Trainer Hilary Kole on the mean streets of NYC on her way to a client. 

After you’ve practiced that exercise a few times, then embrace this as an experiment: the next time you’re in any of the above-mentioned situations, find a stranger to speak to for a logical reason. Have the interaction, and then at the end say, “Thanks so much – gosh it was nice talking to you. I find that so much of my day is spent looking at devices I forget what a pleasure it is to speak to an actual human.”

Practice that for seven straight days and notice the delightful interactions you have. You may notice two things: 1) speaking gets easier, and 2) you have a tiny mood boost each time you do it.

Remember: we are called the social primate for a reason. So give into your DNA – and talk to someone!

Cheers,

Michael Hoeppner and the GK Training team

P.S. If you never got tuned into the work we’ve done with the Franklin School to help kids speak better, check this out and see the small way we’re trying to help kids retain their speaking skills even in the digital age.

P.P.S. Speaking of connecting with humans more and technology less, this Good Talk has interesting timing. Andrew Yang, who I coached during his presidential run several years ago, just launched a new cellular phone company that is designed to get people to look up from their phones. Others are moving in this direction too, so it will be interesting to watch where the private sector goes with these trends.